And what depressed me most about this was that I was unable to deny that, post-FUCK, a similar trend was becoming evident in my own conduct. Albert’s earliest work had apparently focused on the sexual potential of the male. Experimenting on the company’s laboratory monkeys, especially chimpanzees, he had developed drugs that increased both capacity and desire. In fact, he had a superior version of Viagra at least thirty years before anyone else. But, as with all his sexual discoveries, he had kept it to himself. In any case, it was only a beginning, so far as he was concerned, he did not want to administer drugs, he wanted the body to synthesise them itself. For this he had to enter the brain. I could grasp Albert’s work on the brain only in the sketchiest outline. But he was convinced from the start that it contained the potential to give him what he wanted, that it had abilities that lay dormant and unused, waiting only to be awakened. Even bodily functions that appear wholly. I can’t even begin to explain how I was feeling, just so overwhelmed with embarrassment and shame. I wanted a hole to open up in the floor and swallow me, but instead the guard dragged me to my feet by my ear, like a little child. He pulled me over to the sofa and made me sit on it, holding my legs spread as far as they could go. My wet?. Well, everything was on show. For a moment I thought that things couldn’t get any worse, which was stupid when I already knew what was going to be done to me.The guard rummaged in a drawer and brought out a large sex toy. I gasped as he pushed it inside my vagina, sneering ‘It doesn’t need any lubrication, does it?’ I didn’t answer. I had used sex toys before of course - my husband is lovely, but sometimes I need to reach the places he can’t – but never one this big. I groaned as he turned the vibrator on, suddenly scared I would disgrace myself again. I was told to make sure the vibrator didn’t come out, which hardly helped matters. ‘If only your.
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